Brazilians—they're just as dumb as us! Here's video of a woman in Sao Paulo narrowly avoiding getting crushed to death by an oncoming train, supposedly after she decided a smart thing to do would be to leap to the tracks to retrieve her priceless and certainly irreplaceable mobile phone.

Where the hell was her safety rope? Remember, if you do find yourself on the tracks with the train hurtling toward you, we learned from an MTA conductor that the best thing you can do is run away from the train while waving your arms "frantically to get the train operator and passenger's attention." The conductor helpfully added that "the passengers WILL be doing the exact same thing, as nobody wants to see you get run over and their train get delayed." At least, the ones not filming it will be doing the exact same thing.