We may be hurtling toward an uncertain, unsustainable future in which the sky and everything in it is falling (currently: big frozen clumps of moisture, run!), but it's nice to know that some things never change. There's just something perversely comforting about this video of two guys fighting at 5:30 a.m. on New Year's Day on the Staten Island Ferry: No matter how dreadful things get, you can always count on a couple of macho dudes to roll around on the floor together after a night of partying—and for the NYPD to discourage the loser from filing a police report. The fisticuffs start around the one minute mark:

It is impressive how quickly cops were able to intervene; we haven't seen police respond so immediately to trouble since they saved Prospect Heights from that maniac drinking a beer on his stoop. The cameraman, Byron Huart, tells the Staten Island Advance he was taking the ferry because he wanted to take a celebratory cruise around New York Harbor. He explains, "The video, it was not supposed to be a fight video. It was supposed to be celebrating my New Year's cruise." Instead, his video celebrates everlasting endurance of drunken belligerence.

The man in the black hat seen getting his ass handed to him "declined to prosecute" after talking with police. And at the end of the video, you'll notice a man showing police the blood oozing from his head and demanding to press charges. But NYPD spokesman Detective Joseph Cavitolo says this man was not involved in the fight captured on the video, and his injuries stemmed from a separate incident. Ooh, separate incidents!