The bloodthirsty bedbug army continues to maraud through Manhattan's big name clothing chains; having already brought Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch to their knees, bedbug forces briefly seized a Victoria's Secret store in Lenox Hill Wednesday, as part of a cunning ploy to make women across the city suddenly very squeamish. It's also believed that female bedbugs—who reproduce via traumatic insemination; i.e. getting jabbed in the abdomen by the male's sharp penis—look hot in a thong.
A spokeswoman for the store's parent company tells NY1 that "only a small and isolated area of the Lenox Hill store was affected...[and] the store was treated Wednesday morning and reopened later that day. All the merchandise in the affected section was removed and destroyed." The company is currently testing other stores for bedbugs citywide, but, again, just an isolated incident. Not trying to be alarmist. Unless you bought some underwear there Tuesday and put it on immediately without washing it, thereby infesting your ladyparts with bedbugs, you're probably fine.