[UPDATES BELOW] Penn Station is even more of a shitshow than usual at this hour, due to an influx of holiday travelers and a disabled train causing delays of up to 25 minutes on ALL trains in and out of Penn Station. One doomed Gothamist source describes the current situation as "a disaster," adding "never seen anything like this." So if you're headed out of town to see your family, please allow extra time, and remember it will be totally worth it once you finally get there and Mom has a chance to give you feedback on your life choices.

Our doomed source adds that "someone just asked to pass the cranberry sauce. People are being relatively cool." So far...

And rarely does frustration and despair look so beautiful:

UPDATE 6:28 p.m.: The horror. The horror:

UPDATE 6:47 p.m.: If it makes you feel any better, Metro North is also experiencing delays. And we can blame the additional LIRR delays on the goddamn leaves. Shoulda burned them weeks ago:

Update 6:57 p.m.: NJ Transit spokesperson Courtney Carroll explains that the delays were the result of an Amtrak train that became disabled just outside of Penn Station at approximately 5:30 this evening. "That resulted in congestion throughout the tunnels, resulting in delays of 15-25 minutes for trains going in and out of Penn Station," Carroll told us. "The train was cleared just before 6 p.m., but given that it was the height of rush hour there were residual delays as a result." At this point, there are still delays of 15-25 minutes on all trains.

Here's video capturing some of the perfectly-timed magic:

Update 7:27 p.m.: Amtrak spokesman Marc Magliari says he's unaware of any disabled Amtrak trains tonight. "There were switch problems on the MetroNorth line that caused some delays," Magliari told us, but could not confirm that Amtrak trains had experienced any problems.

Update: 7:39 p.m.: For what it's worth, Magliari called back with more information. "Upon further inspection, we did have a delayed train for twenty minutes at 4:18." That train was stuck just outside Penn Station, where trains cross tracks. It started moving again at 5 p.m., but at 5:17 it got stuck again for another twenty minutes. In short, you can tell your mom it's Amtrak's fault you missed your flight out of Newark and have no choice but to spend Thanksgiving doing bong rips with your roommate.