A Times Square Spider-Man who allegedly assaulted a mom last year because she wouldn't tip him after he posed in a photo with her two kids claims that he was just defending himself. But how does the alleged victim know for sure that police caught the right Spider-Man? Apparently radioactive spiders have a very distinct scent.
Philip Williams, 36, claimed in court yesterday that 46-year-old Victoria Goreaciuc struck him with a chunk of ice in Times Square in February 2013. Both parties agree that Williams posed for photos with Goreaciuc's 5 and 7 year old kids, then asked for a tip; when Goreaciuc said she didn't have cash, Williams cursed at her in front of the kids (his lawyer admits he may have called her a "piece of crap").
She walked away, but then decided to report the incident and return with her husband a little while later. Williams claims Goreaciuc’s husband grabbed him from behind and tried to rip off his backpack. "I thought I was being attacked, maybe being robbed,” he said in court Tuesday, according to the Times. "I thought I was being jumped basically." Goreaciuc claims Williams slugged her in the face unprompted.
Goreaciuc told the court that she could identify Williams solely by the smell of his costume. Never one to let an opportunity for a creepy journalistic endeavors pass them by, the NY Post sent reporters with a nose for justice out into Time Square to sniff out the truth:
Though the courtroom smell test may seem like something out of a bad “Matlock” episode, IDing a Times Square-area Spider-Man solely by smell isn’t that difficult of a task, The Post learned after running a superhero-odor survey on Tuesday. One stinky Spidey lingered in a fog of his own musk at Broadway and 42nd Street — putting forth a distinct melange of cheap deodorant, body odor and stale musk. Despite this, he was demanding people pay for the privilege of standing next to him for photos.
A second web-slinger wannabe, standing in front of Toys “R” Us, had a slightly sweet and sweaty bouquet that also could have been as good as a DNA test if it were ever to be brought up in court. It was the type of smell that may have struck Goreaciuc’s nose during her dust-up with Williams.
Yup, just another day at the NY Post.
A Spectacular Update For Daily Bugle Readers: The Amazing Spider-Man impersonator has been found not guilty of assaulting Goreaciuc. The judge did hit Williams with a $250 fine for harassment, because he cursed around the children. Until next time web-slingers, excelsior!
