[UPDATE BELOW] We thought (and hoped!) yesterday's Obama streaker report—about how he'd accepted an undisclosed sum far less than the promised million dollar prize for streaking the President with name of a billionaire's website scrawled on his flesh—would be the last. But there's a new detail we feel compelled to note: as part of Juan Rodriguez's deal with filthy rich website owner Alki David, he's agreed to debase himself even further by streaking another unidentified government official. Dance, monkey, dance!
David believes that Rodriguez didn't meet all the requirements to qualify for the prize, but he's ever so graciously offered to pay the Staten Island man's rent for the next year, cover all his sister's medical bills and provide him with an undisclosed amount of money. (The Staten Island Advance reports that Rodriguez's rent is just $1,600 a month for a five-bedroom apartment!) But to get the payout, Rodriguez must streak another government figure while yelling the name of David's website, which we believe is something like Bennyhillifier.com. And if Rordiguez is really lucky, maybe David will sweeten the deal by giving his vassal another hundred bucks to brand the website's logo on his genitals!
UPDATE: It seems that Rodriguez knows nothing about this requirement to streak again in front of a different head of state. David has been telling reporters that Rodriguez will do it, but when Philly.com informed him of this during a phone interview, Rodriguez was reportedly "dumbstruck." And after "a tortured silence," he said, "I don't know where that information is coming from." Then he hung up. But he'll surely do what his paymaster commands; when asked about the consolation prize earlier in the conversation, Rodriguez said, "I'm not going to bust his chops."