The U.S. Labor Department's jobs report is worse than anticipated: for the first time in 11 months, there was no net increase in jobs. The unemployment rate held steady at 9.1 percent, and if you factor in people who are underemployed or have simply given up looking for a job, the real unemployment rate (at least in New York) is more like 15 percent.

Also troubling: The jobs reports for June and July were revised downward. It was previously reported that a net gain of 46,000 jobs were added in June and 117,000 in July, but that's been downgraded to a 20,000 gain in June and 85,000 in July. Double troubling: The length of the average workweek fell by 0.1 hour to 34.2 hours, a sign that hiring is unlikely to pick up soon, the Atlantic reports. And since 2008, local government has disappeared 550,000 jobs. ("Hooray, America got its smaller government!" cheers The Awl.)

According to the Times, most economists believe the nation will not experience a double-dip recession, but job growth will be so slow as to be imperceptible. "We’ve got at least another 12 months of difficulty to go through,” economist Steven Ricchiuto tells the Times. "I know that doesn’t help politicians who are worried about the elections." Indeed, all this unemployment has us worried sick about the politicians—particularly Obama. If the president really wanted to create jobs, he'd be giving his speech ASAP on September 7th.

The DOW is down over 200 points and falling this morning in the wake of the gloomy report, so shed a tear for the stock market, too... or maybe it's just acting like a hooker's underwear again.