Two slaughterhouse-bound New Jersey cows escaped from their Montvale trailer pen Tuesday night and spent a few hours on the lam, blissfully frolicking through Bergen County and leaving a little traffic mess in their wake. The animal revolution has begun, people—you have Banksy to thank for this.
The bovine fugitives were reportedly purchased by a Montvale resident on Tuesday, and were set to be transferred to a nearby slaughterhouse on Wednesday. Sensing their impending doom, though, the 250-300 lb. cows broke out of the truck they were penned up in and fled, forcing human cops to put up road blocks along the local streets and highways. "It was quite the chase for quite some time," Tyco Animal Control officer Carol Tyler told the Star-Ledger. "They're not easy to catch."
The female cow was caught around 9 p.m. near the Upper Saddle River Road; the male, though, managed to stay out of the Man's reach until Wednesday afternoon, when he was finally corralled near the Garden State Parkway close the the New York/NJ border.
Thankfully, these courageous cows will be blessed with a happier ending than the poor sheep who escaped from a Brooklyn butcher earlier this week and is now baa-ing somewhere in the Big Sheepfold In The Sky; they've been offered a slaughterhouse reprieve, and will live out the rest of their days on a farm. There is some bad news, though—the farm they've been sent to is a petting zoo for children, where they'll be groped and prodded by an endless procession of small, sticky, entitled hands until the end of their days.