One of the stranger subplots of the Trump campaign is that of the batshit December 2015 letter from Dr. Harold Bornstein detailing Trump's allegedly tremendous health. Everyone from the lowliest pundit to actual certified doctors were baffled by the letter, which used such hyperbolic language to describe Trump's health that it seemed plausible Trump just wrote it himself. Now, Bornstein has finally broken his legendary silence, and his explanation is amazing: he typed the letter in "just five minutes while a limo sent by the candidate waited outside his Manhattan office," according to an interview he gave to NBC.

The typo-ridden letter made a number of odd statements about Trump's health, with gems like a reference to tests showing "only positive results''; a line about how Trump's lab results were "astonishingly excellent;" and an impossible-to-prove claim that Trump would be "the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency." Bornstein told NBC that he typed up the letter in 5 minutes and didn't bother to proofread it because hey, he'd already thought long and hard throughout they day about what he was going to write. Well, alright then.

Bornstein also pulled back his over-the-top language in the NBC interview, telling the site that Trump was merely as healthy as any 70-year-old who doesn't smoke or drink. As for why he originally used phrases like "[Trump's] physical strength and stamina are extraordinary," Bornstein said that he must have just "picked up" Trump's language through exposure to it, before fusing it with his own medical language to create an amalgam so ridiculous it made Dr. Nick Riviera appear Harvard-educated.

Bornstein also added, in a sad (not even Sad!) note, "I like Donald Trump because I think he likes me."