OH BOY WHERE TO BEGIN. Things went a little haywire yesterday, after the Washington Post released a tape of Donald Trump announcing to Billy Bush that he likes to "grab [women] by the pussy," among other things. First, Trump released one non-apology calling his apparent penchant for sex abuse "locker room banter," and that Bill Clinton has said worse things to him on the golf course. And then, after his team gathered for 10 HOURS, he released a 90-second video non-apology in which he called the remarks a "distraction" and, again, claimed Hillary and Bill were so much more bad, look at them, look away from me!

Here, we present a disgusting human making a poor attempt to save face:


Some points: 1) Arguing that you shouldn't be held accountable for something you said a decade ago, and then bringing up something your opponent's husband did 19 years ago, is not a great debate strategy. 2) It's not really a "distraction" when a candidate for the highest office in the country is normalizing a rampant rape culture that's instilled both shame and fear in more than half that population, and writing that off as "locker room banter." Maybe men do talk about assaulting women when they're not around (do they?), but it's 2016, and our first female presidential candidate is running against a gross idiot who thinks women are just ambulatory vaginas that you throw in the trash if they get too fat.

More importantly, though, Trump's assertion that "these words don’t reflect who I am" is bullshit. In May, the Times published a deep dive on Trump's history with women, which featured anecdotes about him kissing 21-year-old Miss Utah representative Temple Taggart on the lips, uninvited, in 1997; and one about Jill Harth, a former pageant promoter Trump allegedly groped under a dinner table in front of her then-boyfriend.

The Times has more on Harth in a Nicholas Kristof op-ed column today, aptly titled, "Donald Trump, Groper in Chief"; Harth described more of Trump's assault in an interview with the Guardian in July. According to Harth, Trump started making moves on her in December 1992, when she and then-boyfriend George Houraney met with him in hopes of getting the businessman to invest in their American Dream festival.

In addition to the under-the-table grope, Harth says he attacked her when she and Houraney were visiting his Mar-a-Lago estate in January 1993. According to a sexual harassment complaint Harth filed in 1992, Trump offered to give Harth a tour of the estate, and made his move in one of his children's bedrooms. “He pushed me up against the wall, and had his hands all over me and tried to get up my dress again,” Harth told the Guardian, “and I had to physically say: ‘What are you doing? Stop it.'"

She added, "If I hadn’t pushed him away, I’m sure he would have just went for it, He was aggressive and he has a sense of entitlement. He thinks everybody is in love with him, every woman. I've heard him say things like this, from the time I spent with him."

And last night CNN reporter Erin Burnett reported that Trump once kissed her friend without her consent. After the Washington Post tape revealed Trump saying, while speaking about a soap opera actress he was preparing to meet, "I gotta use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her," Burnett's friend told her, "That’s exactly what Trump did to me. Trump took Tic Tacs, suggested that I take them also. He then leaned in ... catching me off guard and kissed me almost on the lips. I was really freaked out."

This is who Trump is. Ask anyone who knows him.

Ivanka Trump, meanwhile, insisted in a May interview with CBS that her father is "not a groper, it's not who he is." Which I guess means Trump hasn't groped Ivanka, and that is...good, certainly, not that he doesn't seem to want to!

Ivanka Trump and her husband, developer and Observer publisher-turned-quasi Trump campaign manager Jared Kushner, reportedly advised Trump on his video message—so think about how bad (amazing for Hillary) the earlier versions must have been. Also, the Times adds, "One adviser to Mr. Trump cautioned before the statement that if the candidate mentioned Mrs. Clinton, it would fail." Guess someone didn’t listen!

Meanwhile, the GOP seems to be on the brink of combustion, with so-called leaders like Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell saying they were "sickened" by Trump's "repugnant" comments about women. Ryan went so far as to disinvite Trump from a campaign event in Wisconsin today (Pence is going instead), but he's still backing Trump for President.

"Women are to be championed and revered," according to Ryan, provided all that championing and revering doesn't include installing Supreme Court justices who protect women's abortion and birth control rights. After all, it's cool to tell women what to do with their pussies, so long as you don't grab them.