Donald Trump, Ted Cruz's "Please let a Republican who makes me look good join the race" monkey's paw wish come terribly true, has some issues with women. You know this, I know this, the world knows this. That being said, it's never a good thing when you're running for president and weeks before the election a tape surfaces of your seduction technique being revealed as "Just grab them by the pussy, they'll let you do anything when you're a star." There are 31 days until Election Day.

The Washington Post obtained a tape of Donald Trump having a vile sex chat with Ryan Lochte-defender Billy Bush back when Bush was a co-host on Access Hollywood in 2005. On the way to a segment about Trump guest starring on One Life To Live, the two talked about a woman Trump had tried to seduce by...uh...taking her furniture shopping. In a stunning admission of failure, Trump told Bush that he tried to fuck the unnamed married woman they were talking about, but it didn't work.

"I moved on her like a bitch," Trump told Bush, echoing the hot catchphrase of 2005 that everyone was saying at the time why are you acting like no one talks like this.

Trump, the Republican nominee for President of the United States and Commander-in-Chief of its armed forces, also shared with Bush that "You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet," which won't help his reputation as a cartoon lech. "And when you're a star, they let you do it, you can do anything. Grab 'em by the pussy," Trump went on, as Bush laughed like a hyena.

Look, let's all be honest with one another here. Literally nothing Donald Trump has said won't be handwaved away by his supporters as overly PC crybaby bullshit. Trump himself sent out an "apology" saying Bill Clinton has said worse things to him on the golf course, which might be true because they're both dirty old men (Billy Bush, on the other hand, might have some problems).

The truly damaging stuff on this tape for Trump supporters should be that he admitted to failing to fuck even though he wanted to, and that once he stepped off the Access Hollywood bus he failed to forcefully kiss the actress who greeted him or show off his patented sex assault moves. If Donald Trump can't be trusted to fuck at will or follow his own seduction advice, how can Donald Trump be trusted to force Ford to move their car production back here or get Mexico to pay for the wall?