This election season has suffered without Jon Stewart's steady hand at the Daily Show helm, but last night struggling host Trevor Noah came up with a pretty good idea, suggesting that maybe we shouldn't have an election in November after all.
Noah dug into this week's fuckups from both parties' nominees. First, there was the revelation that Hillary Clinton had indeed lied (quite a bit!) about her private email server, which managed to quash whatever Honest Hill image the Democrats have been trying to craft over the last year. Not that any of that is super surprising, but in any other election, it could have sounded a death alarm.
Lucky for Hillary, she's running against Herr Windbag, who followed up Hillary's FBI scolding by...lauding Saddam Hussein. Like the rest of us, Noah wondered if he's being pranked. "What the fuck, dude! This was your chance to bury Hillary, this was not the time to praise Saddam Hussein. To be honest, I don't know when the time is to praise Saddam Hussein, but I do know that THIS is not the time!"
It is almost too fortuitous for Hillary, who has been running for president since 1947, that her opponent is a bigoted sack of over-saffroned rice—it's almost as if a production studio at, I don't know, Langley or Christof's moon dome, has orchestrated this whole thing for amusement—but Noah ended last night's segment by pointing out Election 2016's Sophie's Choice between "Grandma Nixon and a traffic cone soaked in raw sewage." And he had a good outsiders tip: "Maybe you shouldn't have an election," he said. "Because right now it looks like America's getting into a marriage it's going to regret."
Things are as bad as they can be, between rampant police brutality; nonstop terrorist attacks in Europe and the Middle East; and global economic instability. Of course, history shows us things will get worse.
One of the two people vying for probably the most powerful position in the world is about as trustworthy as a Clinton. The other was pretty much handpicked by the former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan and makes George W. Bush look palatable. What are we to do? Obama's already ordered his retirement La-Z Boy, he's not going to stay.
Not that I'd support Making America Great Again by bringing back the English monarchy, but at least we'd get some cute celebrity babies out of it.