[UPDATE BELOW] Want to file a complaint against the TSA? No problemo, just fill out this simple form with the handwritten instructions to "GO TO HELLLLLL" (and be sure to eat sh*t and die)! Manhattan-based graphic designer Ross Berenson, 26, arrived at JFK on a JetBlue flight from LA yesterday to find that his luggage had been tampered with. And when he went to ask the TSA what happened, he says they gave him a form essentially urging him to cast himself off into eternal hellfire.
Berenson says he knew something was a tad askew when he noticed his bag was missing his "TSA-certified" bright green lock. "That's like my tag to know which bag is mine," he tells us. "I have flown with this lock for years and never had an issue. I then examine my bag and I noticed that the loops on my zippers were cut. I was pretty annoyed then." JetBlue referred Berenson to the appropriate TSA reps. "I'm a pretty calm person," he elaborates. "It's not the end of the world, it's just luggage."
He insists his exchange with the TSA workers was perfectly civil. "Nobody could give me any answers about what happened in LA, but they very politely told me if I wanted to file a complaint I could fill out this form," says Berenson. "Everyone was very helpful and nice. I didn't realize the form said 'Go to hell' until I got on the subway. I'm pretty laid back, but seeing an official form like this say 'Go to hell' is pretty shocking." A TSA spokesperson tells us they're looking into the incident.
Berenson also claims that the form—including the personalized "GO TO HELLLL" instruction—is definitely a photocopy, which means there could be more of these hellish forms floating around out there. Of course, it's also possible he made the whole thing up and tweeted about it as some sort of elaborate P.R. revenge plot against the TSA, but let's face it, this isn't the first time TSA workers have raised eyebrows with personalized notes.
"I can't prove the TSA did this to my bag," Berenson says. "And there was no note saying they inspected it." Asked if he plans to follow the TSA's instructions about this trip to hell, Berenson says no, he has no intention of going to hell. (After all, the poor guy just got back from L.A., ha ha.) And despite the TSA's insult, Berenson does intend to file the complaint, which he probably needs to send off to TSA headquarters in Biteme, Virginia as soon as possible.
Update 5:21 p.m.: TSA spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein says, "The TSA looks forward to the opportunity to work directly with the passenger to learn more about his interaction with the employee and the hand-written note on the form he received. This will assist us in reviewing the issue. Additionally, we will work with the passenger to address the damaged luggage.
"TSA-recognized locks are easily identified by the screening workforce and can be opened and relocked by TSA officers if a physical inspection is required. Also, when TSA opens a checked bag, a notice of inspection is placed inside."