Although it's easy to get bogged down in everything Carl Paladino hates, there are plenty of things he loves: Newsday, cluttered desks, being "not intimidatable," and most of all, his dog Duke. Duke travels with Paladino wherever he goes, loves "The O'Reilly Factor", and has bitten other dogs on the campaign trail. Although Duke is generally referred to as a pit bull, the Times wasn't sure what breed he was exactly, so they went to find out. And Paladino's team FREAKED OUT.

The Times reporter checked for Duke's dog license at Buffalo City Hall, where a man asked him, “Did Cuomo send you?” They refused to give out the information, and less than an hour later, campaign manager Michael Caputo sent out an email to reporters that just oozes floppy forehead sweat, combining bizarre threats with Nixonian levels of paranoia:

Every day I get calls from reporters carrying water for Andrew Cuomo. They read the same allegations, word for word, from memos provided by the Cuomo campaign. We spend time shooting them down, one at a time. However, when one embarrassed reporter drops the story, the Cuomo camp simply passes it down the food chain. Eventually, the Cuomo opposition research hits bottom at The New York Post — they invariably write it word for word.

To all of you who do your own reporting and reject the Cuomo script — thank you for your responsible journalism. To those who pretend to come to me with original ideas jumping off Cuomo’s memos, word for word — we’re on to you. You are irresponsible, ridiculous and lazy.

I don’t know what to think of the imperial Gray Lady tailing a dog. Any reporter who is compelled to put Duke under the spotlight, I give you an understated word of advice: Beware of Dog.

All of that just because a Times commenter questioned whether Duke was too big to be a British Staffordshire bull terrier. We'd hate to see what kind of freak out might happen if someone really pissed Paladino off.