The NYC nightclub hostess who tabloids say is linked to Tiger Woods spilled her guts to the NY Post in an incredibly long interview. The story of Rachel Uchitel begins with her saying, "This is ridiculous. Not a word of it is true. I told the Enquirer and Star that it wasn't true. I told them not only did I have information to disprove the story, but I offered to take a lie-detector test" and says, "I have never spoken on the phone with Tiger Woods, or texted him, ever."

Uchitel claims the alleged source that told the National Enquirer she was having an affair with Woods "is not even a friend of mine. I've met her twice in my life. I've got some really horrible things that I can say about her and her past." Uchitel says the source was smearing her name because the source acted in an "embarrassing" manner on a trip in Europe: She "was just a roommate of a friend who got invited at the last minute. This guy at the hotel gave her 3,000 euros to go upstairs with him, and then basically got the money back because two minutes into whatever they were doing, she passed out from too many Quaaludes."

Uchitel also worries, "It doesn't look good because of stories in the past about me and other celebrities, and everybody thinks I'm just a celebrity f---er. Well the truth is, I live alone, I don't have a boyfriend, and I have my gay best friend staying over most nights. I'm a recluse. I don't go out, I stay home with my dogs and friends."

As for the Friday car crash that started this gossip frenzy, Woods will be ticketed $164 for careless driving by the Florida Highway Patrol. Also: another woman claims she's slept with the married golfer and Chris Rock is angry at the media for caring about the incident at all—when asked if he had a comment, he said, "Nope. He got in a car accident. What the f---? You guys are the news. You're supposed to report the news. A guy crashed his car. You're making up s---. So are you reporting the news or are you making the news?"