Three men were arrested at JFK this morning after TSA screenings found batons in their baggage. No, not the cheerleading kind of baton, these were "expandable" batons, the scary weapons favored by fascist pigs like Syd in Children of Men. The batons were found almost exactly one hour after each other, starting at 7:13 this morning. The first two were found through X-ray machines at security checkpoints while the third was in a checked bag.

The three men were from three different places (Jamaica, NY; Fayetteville, NC; Manhasset, NY) and were flying to three different destinations on three different airlines. According to the TSA, the only known similarity between the men is that they all carried a baton. Port Authority police arrested two of the men at security checkpoints on state weapons charges, while the third man, whose baton was in a checked bag, was tracked down and arrested as he was waiting to catch his flight

Batons are illegal in New York City, and the TSA would like to take this opportunity to remind you that "[w]eapons laws vary by state and locality and travelers should familiarize themselves with weapons laws for each point of travel prior to departure." We'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that as a general rule, if it is in fact a weapon, even a cute one, you maybe won't make it past the TSA.