2006_03_crabwalk.jpgWhat's worse, a lackdaisical high school teenager who doesn't want to participate in phys. ed. or the phys. ed. teacher who uses a knife to threaten the kid into exercise? Queens high school teacher Mark Omeltchenko was charged with harassment and child endangerment, plus weapons possession, after trying to cajole two teenage girls into doing the crabwalk by brandishing a knife. Now, it'd be one thing to wave a knife around, but apparently Omeltchenko actually placed the knife on one girl's arm. Denise Aguiler told the Post what she said: "I just told him, 'Mister, I'm not scared' - but at the same time, I was scared." Ah, spoken like a true child of the city. Anyway, Omeltchenko claims he had just eaten lunch, which is why he had the knife. Gothaimst is curious what kind of knife it is - and why would he still be carrying it during class, unless he's the kind of gym teacher who whittles or cuts pieces of apple to eat during class. He has been reassigned as the Department of Education investigates.

The crabwalk is the exercise where you have to walk around on your hands and legs, head facing up. Yeah, Gothamist can see why two teenage girls who be less than enthused about doing that; this just reminds us of all the creative excuses we came up with to miss gym.