If we've learned anything from documentaries like Uptown Girls and The Nanny Diaries, it is that rich people be crazy (and rich children are sad). Upper crust nannies don't have it easy, whether they're being underpaid, or even forced into indentured servitude. But even without such extreme circumstances, it can be a nightmare dealing with the demands of certain clients.

A NYC nanny revealed just how batshit specific these things can get in a post yesterday: "One of the employers had sent me home with a 'job description' so that I might 'familiarize myself with the specificities of their household,'" the anonymous would-be nanny wrote on I Saw Your Nanny. "I have included some of the more charming requirements for your perusal and amusement. The total job description is 22 pages long."

Here are some highlights, which paint a picture of a totalitarian household where sugar, subways and dirt are outlawed, any music outside of jazz and classical is forbidden, and the regimented life is the only life.

If you let the child out of your sight, it will cram sugar packs into its gullet.

"X is not allowed to eat any processed sugars. This is pertinent and is has a deleterious affect on his mental health. To ensure he cooperates this, please check his backpack when he returns from any outing and his coat pockets. At any time you are in a grocery or store with him, he must remain in your immediate eye sight at all times."

There are magically-regenerating slippers.

"We prefer that you keep a pair of house slippers in our home so that you do not at any time wear shoes in the house. If the house slippers are worn outside for any reason, a new pair of house slippers would need to be provided."

Okay, this is where it starts to get intense:

"The children should not leave the house for any reason in clothes that have not been properly pressed. The exception to this rule is if the children are specifically going to engage in a sport in which time they should be appropriately attired for that activity......To ensure that the children have a selection of pressed outfits available, please retrieve completed pressed clothing from the laundry room and leave new outfits for X to press. X does not go upstairs, so you must bring the clothing to her. This is your responsibility alone. Each child should have five pressed outfits minimum at the ready."

If the written work does not reflect the potential, a thousand suns will cry out in agony.

"X is tutored for one hour each on Tuesday and Thursday from 530-630. It is imperative that you check any homework he is unable to complete with the tutor and submit it for him for correction. Please make a final and thoughtful review of his homework. He understands, as I hope you will the need for his written work to accurately reflect his potential."

It's comforting to know that somewhere, someone still thinks rock 'n roll is the devil's music.

"The children are restricted as to the media they may access. The children may not watch any television program that offers up music or music videos, nor may they listen to any radio station, excepting jazz, classical or public radio. If your tastes exists outside these parameters, please utilize ear buds to listen to your music of choice, and then only as it is safe to do so."

Hope you like your temperatures freezing!

"Please do not adjust the temperature of the house, or the freezers or refrigerator. Please adjust your manner of dress to accommodate the temperature of our home."

You can't take any photos of the children, because they are ghosts. And ghosts can't be captured digitally.

"Please do not take any photographs of our children, pets, or home. Please do not take any photographs of yourself within our home or photograph any objects contained within our home."

A smooth accordance is the only accordance.

"The children's use of public transportation will be limited to NY Taxi cabs and then, only as necessary. Most travel needs will be scheduled in advance with our driver. Your command of their upcoming schedule is imperative to keep things in smooth accordance."

And people wonder how young rich people are turned into aliens.

[h/t Gawker]