Alex Jones—a red-faced screaming sack of flesh who thinks the Obama administration faked the Sandy Hook massacre so they could take away Americans' guns and now has the ear of the President of the United States—was the subject of a sprawling profile in German news magazine Der Spiegel today. At some point, the reporter had lunch with Jones, who was dressed like this:


Let's look at that again.



One more time.




Photo aside, the piece, intended to reach an international audience, is harrowing, outlining some of the more insane conspiracy theories Jones has spouted. These include his claim that a global secret society created gay marriage "to encourage the breakdown of the family," for instance; that Obama and Hillary are literal demons who "smell like sulfur"; that the government uses "weather weapons" to make fake tornadoes, and is poisoning our drinking water. The profile reminds the world that the United States now has a right-wing nationalist propaganda arm, and notes that Jones gleefully describes Trump like he's "some Hitler-like Führer." All of this is so terrible—the anecdote the article ends with, however, is somehow even worse:


It's afternoon, and Jones is walking through the studio, his adrenaline level high and his blood sugar low. He needs to get something to eat. Platters of BBQ - chicken, beef and sausages - are set out on a table in the conference room. "Good barbecue," says Jones. "You tasted it already?"

He piles up food onto a plastic plate, and then he suddenly takes off his shirt without explanation. With his bare torso, he sits there and shovels meat into his mouth, a caricature of manliness, but also a show of power to the reporter sitting in front of him. He can do as he pleases.

Then Jones gets up and holds out a sausage. "Wanna suck?" he asks.

EXCUSE ME?

WHAT THE FUCK?

One more time:


Then Jones gets up and holds out a sausage. "Wanna suck?" he asks.

And for good measure:

Alex Jones ruined facts, radio, and probably the United States. Now, he has ruined barbecue.

Please help us, international community.