Oh hello, New York apartment-hunter. Have I got good news for you. Take a seat, right there in the shower. That's your new living room! Welcome home.


You already know that at $1,750 for two bedrooms, this place is a steal. That, and it's right in one of the city's most desirable neighborhoods, Hell's Kitchen! If Times Square is good enough for Greta Gerwig in a movie, Hell's Kitchen is certainly good enough for you in real life. How many Noah Baumbachs have you dated, even? None. Precisely as I thought.

A closer look at your new Meditation Wall.

But please, can you focus for a second? No? Excellent. This apartment is perfect for those with inadequate focus—with few windows for distraction, and no "sitting area" or "bathroom sink" in which to entertain guests, there's no risk that you might find yourself sidetracked by passersby or friends. There does appear to be a mirror next to the shower, but that can be removed. Other amenities: The apartment is located in the same city as several laundromats. Wow!

If you're thinking "Oh no, thanks, I think I'd rather not have this apartment," well, joke's on you. The door to the street is five flights of stairs down. You'll never make it.

Blegh! These can be shot out and replaced with boards. (StreetEasy)

[h/t Curbed]