Florida, a state that brought us the prosthetic penis masturbator, the George W. Bush presidency, and Mickey's PhilharMagic, has surpassed New York in population, according to a recent Census report.

Florida became the country's third most populous state in July 2014. It falls behind California and Texas with a population of over 19.8 million people, including those bastards who beat your Bubbie at mah jong last week. New York, meanwhile, is now the fourth most populous state at 19.7 million residents, all of whom appear to live along the 4, 5, 6 line.

We were warned that Florida would overtake us last year, but it seemed hard to believe people would voluntarily live in the same state where this happened. Then again, Florida boasts a lower-cost of living, lenient tax laws and the Standard Miami, whereas New York has $500K foldable apartments and...Buffalo. Plus, alligators can babysit your children when you're too tired to watch them, and everyone knows it's hard to find good help in Manhattan.