On November 17th, a man named Wilton Sinclair arrived at JFK on a flight from Georgetown, Guyana, carting with him four bottles of rum, because it's cold out man, and who doesn't love a duty-free party?

Border protection officers, trained in the subtle art of discerning "What is rum?" noticed the liquid in two of the bottles appeared thicker than usual. They brought Sinclair to a private room and cracked 'em open, only to be greeted by an "unusual chemical odor." Tests were run, and officials determined that the rum wasn't rum at all, but liquid cocaine.

In total, Sinclair is accused of toting approximately 18 pounds of coke, amounting to a total street value of $310,000. El Dorado 5 Year Old Rum has been described by reviewers as one of "the essential components to many of the most legendary Tiki drinks." Cocaine was once described by Arthur Conan Doyle as "transcendently stimulating and clarifying to the mind.”

It is also described by Robert E. Perez, director of CBP’s New York Field Operations, as "a dangerous narcotic," noting that "CBP does its part in keeping these drugs off the streets.”