Not that anyone needs to be reminded that the G is where dreams of traveling from one place to another go to die, but that tiny green troll train is about to get a whole lot more useless. Starting Monday, the G line's getting slapped with fat fist of FASTRACK—there'll be no service between Bedford-Nostrand Avs and Church Av for four consecutive nights next week.

The service suspension runs Monday through Friday morning, with the FASTRACK maintenance and repair program affecting service from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. nightly. The MTA will be providing shuttle service along Bedford-Nostrand Aves and the Jay St-MetroTech F station, and they recommend you take the F train (oh, the F train) as an alternative.

And of course, this brief interruption only serves as a prelude to the upcoming extended service changes this summer, with no trains between Nassau Ave. and Court Square for five weeks, commuting mornings included. That fun starts July 28th, so now's as good a time as any to give up your lease in Greenpoint and sign it over to me.