No matter how many times they've bellyflopped in public, corporations keep clinging to the notion that people NEED to #engage with their brands on every national occasion, whether it's the anniversary of 9/11 or today, Earth Day. Does anyone really need to know what Glock thinks about Earth Day? Does anyone really want to know?
As the Times points out, Earth Day has become synonymous with a particularly naked form of corporate strategizing, one that seeks to dress up a particularly vampiric form of capitalism in the language of activism:
But to many fashion people, it mostly means an inbox clogged with emails trumpeting “green is the new black,” and celebrating “100 percent vegan handbags, backpacks and clutches,” or “10 percent eco-friendly dyes and materials,” or other such initiatives demonstrating the industry’s environmental awareness and progress — as embodied by stuff you can buy.
We know brands are people too, but you'd think people would know better by now. Below, behold how brands have tried to make Earth Day all about them.
This is just terrifying. Is the implication here that Earth Day should be celebrated by cleansing the Earth of humans? Actually, that would be for the best.
— GLOCK Inc. (@GLOCKInc) April 22, 2015
— Domino's Pizza (@dominos) April 22, 2015
— Dr Pepper (@drpepper) April 22, 2015
Or are just sad.
— Burger King (@BurgerKing) April 22, 2015
Some are cutesy without actually being cute.
Happy #EarthDay! Remember: Don't recycle your exes...it's bad for the environment. 😉
— TheSingleWoman™ (@TheSingleWoman) April 22, 2015
shout out to mother nature holding it down. father nature's on a couch somewhere stuffing pancakes in his mouth checking his golf app.
— Denny's (@DennysDiner) April 22, 2015
Some are boisterous in their self-promoting.
— Nordstrom (@Nordstrom) April 22, 2015
— Delta (@Delta) April 22, 2015
Some are known liars.
— Snapple® (@Snapple) April 22, 2015
Others think it is sufficient to put some sort of weird photo of nature and call it a day.
— Saks Fifth Avenue (@saks) April 22, 2015
— Cinnabon (@Cinnabon) April 22, 2015
IHOP is apparently on mushrooms.
— IHOP (@IHOP) April 22, 2015
But let's get to the heart of what Earth Day is all about: promotions!
— Smite: The Game (@SmiteGame) April 22, 2015
The Earth is yours to explore, so keep it green! Get 10% off on our green fleet and hit the road. PC: 198041 pic.twitter.com/OGPiqihVke
— Hertz Corporation (@Hertz) April 21, 2015
— AutoZone (@autozone) April 22, 2015
— YOTEL (@YotelHQ) April 22, 2015
— Pampers (@Pampers) April 22, 2015
The most important promotion: 15% off your next rave.
Also don't forget to get 15% off your entire purchase with promo code EARTHDAY 🌍 pic.twitter.com/58dSFsfYpA
— Eat Sleep Rave (@eatsleepravebra) April 22, 2015
Don't forget about Sports!
— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) April 22, 2015
— Gillette Stadium (@GilletteStadium) April 22, 2015
— Maryland Terrapins (@umterps) April 22, 2015
— Orlando Magic (@OrlandoMagic) April 22, 2015
Just remember, this is all about perception—like the fact that Earth Day happens to fall during NascarGreen Week. Chicken and egg scenario, right?
— NASCAR Green (@NASCARGreen) April 22, 2015