According to Family Radio preacher/rambler Harold Camping, the Apocalypse is due to start tomorrow at 6 p.m. standard time in every time zone around the world (most likely with an earthquake). And as you might imagine, people are preparing for it in all the ridiculous and amusing ways you could hope for...after all, when else will you get to use those Rapture pick-up lines you've been saving up?
Seriously, Rapturists are all about the earthquake: former MTA worker Robert Fitzpatrick, who spent $140,000 of his own money on an ad campaign for Doomsday, told SILive that he just wanted to get out of dodge before the quake begins: "I believe that I will be raptured [instantly transported to heaven]; I hope so, I don’t want to be here for the earthquake." But keep in mind it's only the start of the end of the world tomorrow, not the actual end—the universe won't explode until five months later, on Oct. 21.
Just because we'll have a five month lay-away period on the Apocalypse doesn't mean some May 21st believers think you need to pay your rent anymore: “Am I making my last phone bill? No, I’m not paying my cell phone right now because I’m going to push it off to the end of the month,” LI resident Jeffrey Hopkins told CBS. He also gave them his own grisly preview of tomorrow, but at least he provides a time stamp on when the earthquake will hit NYC: “A huge earthquake that’s going to wipe out New Zealand and the Fiji islands and that earthquake is going to move with the time zones. It’s going to take about 17 hours for it to hit New York."
In a completely unforeseen turn of events, many New Yorkers seem unconvinced by the prophecy, and have turned to the lowest form of humor to cope with the upcoming tragedy: sarcasm. "It's a downer...I still haven't been to [hip Lower East Side restaurant] Beauty & Essex. And don't I have at least a year to get married or do any of the other things I want to do?" personal trainer Sharon Gordin told the Post.
Even some fellow Rapture enthusiasts don't think Camping's prediction will turn out to be true: "Nobody knows the exact day when these things are going to happen..."He is misinterpreting the Bible. He's a false teacher," Steve Wohlberg, who has written more than two dozen books about the End of Days, told the News. He did praise Camping for his charisma and ability to motivate his followers, but warned, "In my mind, Harold Camping has quite an account to render with God when judgment day comes." It's always a bad sign when you're considered the fringe on the fringe.
But Raptures and Apocalypses aren't all about death, doom and gloom: they're also opportunities to have fun on the internet! Check out this handy Harold Camping/Family Radio Rapture Excuse Bingo Card. Or you can follow Jesus' new Rapture Twitter account, for updates like this: "@NASA If you see a #magicschoolbus in the sky very late tonight don't be alarmed #rapture." Or, you could just try to make a sweet Rapture Deal on Craigslist:
As someone who will not be saved I'm looking to make the most of my remaining time here. If YOU'RE someone who WILL be saved and you live in a higher end apartment in one of the more desirable neighborhoods in Brooklyn I'd be interested in subletting until your return...I am slightly flexible on rent, but I think the true benefit would be knowing that on your return you'll find your domicile has been well cared for and no matter how long you've been gone there will be no chance of me trying to hold on to it.