Gawker got their hands on a copy of Politico's White House Correspondents Dinner memo, left behind at a party last night. Among other things, the memo contains a request for "buzzy anecdotes" and a list of good SEO terms, but ya know, even Politico writers have got to put pageviews on the table, so whatever. Still, that doesn't excuse the exquisite derrrrrrr-ness of Politico's celebrity questions. Below, we're picked out our 10 favorites.

  • Shaq: Do you think Chris Christie would make a good president? (He recently met the governor) But would Chris Christie make a good wingman?
  • Barbara Streisand: You've been to this event before. how has it changed? YOU'RE SO OLD DO YOU NEED US TO SPEAK UP WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING ALIVE IN 1965?
  • Kevin Spacey: How would Frances [sic] Underwood behave at a dinner like this? Dangerous question—what if he got bored of the show two-thirds through like we did?
  • Jon Bon Jovi: What was Air Force One like? It was like a plane.
  • Kerry Washington: Do you think the Obamas have a strong marriage? CONJECTURE, strike it from the record.
  • Conan O'Brien: Are you nervous? This is the best question they could come up for the host? And they really needed to write that question down?
  • Ashley Judd: What if you run into Mitch McConnell? Will that be awkward? OMG, it would be soooo awk, lol.
  • Scarlett Johansson: Do you ever e-mail with President Obama anymore? Could you be more specific about your e-mail address...
  • Tracy Morgan or Fred Armisen: Would you accept the WHCD headlining gig? Why not? Hey, why are you assuming that Tracy Morgan or Fred Armisen would automatically say no? What if they say yes and the eager young Politico reporter forges onwards?
  • Nicole Kidman: How is this different than a Hollywood red carpet event? Basically what you're telling us is, you have absolutely nothing to ask her, do you?

On the other hand, at least they aren't going to ask any celebrities what their favorite subway line is.