At approximately 4:53 p.m., the sun's slow descent below the horizon triggered an unprecedented amount of introspection across the city. "Usually when I'm biking around the Brooklyn Navy Yard, I feel a crushing sense of ennui staring at the dark heart of humanity itself, manifested in the gray factories and pocked pavement," a source tells us. "But today wasn't so bad. It was kind of pretty. I called my dad."

Another source, who refused to be named because she "just realized that my existence literally means nothing," was deeply touched by the otherwise unremarkable feat of light passing through airborne particles. "I was angry at my roommates for clogging up the drain because they keep brushing their hair in the shower," she said, "But does that really matter? Does anything matter? What's the point of arguing if we're just tiny dots on a rock that happens to contain water and be close to a star?" She added, "I was going to take one of those mini-classes on social media management at FIT but screw it."

Not everyone was moved by the sunset. When asked for comment, a patron of the 13th Step barely looked up from his nachos to see the fleeting rays of light stream into the dank beer hall. "If we lose to the Niners there will be no more sunsets."