Thanks to Compstat and all those stop-n-heavy-pettings, we live in a gleaming metropolis where crime has been steadily declining for years. But there are those who continue to commit acts so heinous that they require elite NYPD sting units to flush them out: subway emergency exit fare-beaters. No longer just a screeching nuisance, the Daily News reports how these gates become portals to depravity for New Yorkers of every stripe and details what the boys in blue are doing to stop them.

Take Carlos, a 29-year-old hairdresser from Long Island who "decided not to break stride" going through an open emergency exit gate at 33rd and 7th avenue: "I saw an opportunity and took it. I've never done that before. I was rushing and saw the door open." Those criminals, always taking "opportunities." Good thing "a police officer was peeking around a nearby pillar," so before he could say "YES I saved $2.25!" he was approached by three officers and handed a $100 fine. At least he wasn't held for 28 hours like this guy!

Sweet justice found 28-year-old (what is with kids today?!) high school teacher Christina, at the Houston and 2nd ave late one night. "I didn't even think about it. I assumed the turnstile was broken. I don't know what I was thinking," she said. Luckily, the NYPD was around the corner to issue her a ticket, her unlimited MetroCard be damned. The subway was safe again. But her students? They probably get extra credit if they jimmy open the vending machines. Moral of the story? Don't break the law, unless it's in a bike lane.