081908ump.JPGWCBS wants you to be alarmed, at least if you live in a “sleepy New Jersey town” like the ones Bergen County, where local police are using Homeland Security grants to assemble a stockpile of sweet machine guns, particularly the totally bad-ass Heckler & Koch UMP (pictured). Reactions among sleepy locals range from "It's a waste of our tax money," to “I think if they think they need them, then it is good that they have them.” Police explain that the stockpile is a necessary defense against a crazed gunman situation, when there might not be time to wait for a tardy SWAT team. Also, nothing clears skateboarding teens out of the Garden State Plaza parking lot faster than a couple bursts of submachine gun fire.