Could the fate of the Staten Island wild turkeys be decided upon by a "turkey attitude" survey taken by that island's human residents? Yes, yes it could. The survey is being developed by the state Department of Environmental Conservation, and is meant to gauge just how badly locals want the feathered fleet off their turf.

Depending on how things go, SI Live reports that the birds could a) stay put, b) be relocated and kept in permanent captivity, or c) be harvested and donated as food for the needy. Considering a 23-year-old dental assistant (remember Gina?) couldn't even handle the turkeys being near here car (which is like a safe room)—we're guessing these turkeys are gonna be goners.

However, Team Turkey does have some hope, in the form of animal lover Greg Ruggiero, who says he'll donate one store-bought Butterball for every wild turkey spared and successfully relocated. He'll also donate $5,000 to cover their humane transport to a new home! He told the site, "My heart goes out to them because they can't fend for themselves."

Ruggiero likes the turkeys because they make him "feel like it's a piece of the country, like I have a house in the Poconos." Speaking of the Poconos... don't send the turkeys there.