In the scheme of things, there are certainly more destructive hazing practices than ordering pledges to flop on the ground like slices of delicious frying bacon. The University of Connecticut, though, sees no humor in this practice. The University of Connecticut probably also never understood why everyone was so amped up about that stupid film Dazed and Confused, either.

UConn's Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority has been barred from campus for three years after a sophomore told university brass that she was told to "'lay on the floor and sizzle like bacon' and jump up and down and grab [fraternity members'] ankles while pledging their love for their sorority, all while drinking beer and shots of alcohol," according to the Hartford Courant.

While there's no doubt that the sophomore was traumatized by her experience, administrators perhaps didn't take the time to question the mechanics of this claim: How can anyone be expected to grab ankles (also, what?) drink beer, take shots and simultaneously deliver an even passably believable bacon performance? Also, bacon doesn't doesn't have a face—through what mouth would the Bacon Pledges be declaring their love for the sorority? How can anyone love a sorority that takes such an amateurish approach to meat play?

The student alleged she was later taken to another room and "pushed to play the drinking game 'beer pong.'" (Quotation marks—theirs.)

The incident was investigated by the school's Office of Community Standards, and as a result, all members of Kappa Kappa Gamma must vacate their sorority house immediately.

Not to worry, though. There's a new fiesta in the making as we speak.