While that life coach you Grouponed appeared to be lifting most of his knowledge from Joel Osteen books, he was right about one thing: confidence is key. So key, that it was all a thief needed to steal $153,000 worth of BluePrint cleanse juice. The Post reports that on Friday afternoon, a man claiming to be a driver arrived at the company's Long Island City warehouse, signed a piece of paper, hopped on a forklift and loaded 15,303 bottles of the stuff into his truck before driving away. "We realized this happened when our real driver showed up a couple of hours later," company co-founder Zoe Sakoutis said.

The bottles of juice—which retail for around $10 apiece—were supposed to be taken to a company in Pennsylvania to be pressurized in order to give them a longer shelf life of 30 days, instead of five. Note to the guys selling the $7 packs of Newports at the bus stop: now you only have until Tuesday to move those $4 loosies of Pineapple Apple Mint.

The NYPD has yet to issue a release on the suspect, but based on experience they are probably bitching about how all they ate today was half a banana and some cashew milk.