We've finally figured out why the holder of a winning lottery ticket, set to expire tomorrow if unclaimed, has failed to cash in on his $7 million prize: He has lines for arms and is made of black ink.
His smile suggests a deep well of inner serenity, one untroubled by trite material fixations like "lottery tickets" and "millions of dollars." After all, he's already got everything required for a rich and fulfilled life: A baller hat. A posi attitude. The total absence of pants. What else is there?
In a fit of psychic cleansing, Brooklyn's Chillest Stick Figure crumpled up that lottery ticket and tossed it to the wind, confident it would be picked up by someone who needed it. That was a year ago. Unlike notes pushed into bottles, content to drift for quiet lifetimes before washing ashore, lottery tickets have expiration dates. This lottery ticket, purchased at Milky Way Deli in Canarsie, is expiring tomorrow. Like Cinderella's slipper, it will turn from a golden ticket worth actual millions into a scrap of landfill trash worth nothing.
Fast forward to Saturday morning. Finally, some time to clean up the huge pile of papers stacked on your desk! You tell yourself you've got to stop buying these crummy lottery tickets; you never win, you never even check them. Shuffle shuffle shuffle. You're about to toss yesterday's Post into the garbage where it belongs, when something catches your eye. Unclaimed ticket...deli...Canarise...oh no. Oh. no. no.
You would be furious. I would be furious. 1995 Alanis Morisette would be so furious it would prompt her to write the song that would propel her to international stardom.
The Stick Figure won't care. He's peace like that.
The Cash4Life ticket matched all six numbers in the July 24, 2014 drawing, and they are: 5, 20, 35, 43, 48 and the Cash Ball number 03.