Sure, you use your Snuggie to go bar hopping, fornicate comfortably, and walk the runway, but the Snuggie's most valuable purpose has yet to be fully explored... until now! Take it away, press release: "What if you could burn 600 calories in 15 minutes… in a Snuggie? That’s what the latest medi-spa treatment is promising using Far Infrared Ray technology. The 'Snuggie Sauna' (official name: Relax Far Infrared Ray Sauna) improves blood circulation, promotes lymphatic drainage and cellular renewal, increases metabolism, burns calories without lactic acid production, promotes better sleep and detoxifies the body from heavy metals, including mercury and cadmium—all in 15-20 minutes."
Wow! All while combining the comfort of a blanket with the free-balling versatility of a monk's robe! We're told that Dr. Svetlana Kogan is offering the treatment "for the recession-friendly cost of $50 per session in her Upper West Side offices." But wait, is that actually a Snuggie™? Damn, it's "just a play on the 'hands free' idea." However: Visitors to the spa are free to wear their own Snuggie inside the sauna for maximum sweaty preciousness. Which is a relief, because like Never Nude adherents (or Gymnophobics), we never take our Snuggies off, not for nobody.
