It has been approximately six months since the last human being in NYC saw what historians today refer to as snow, ancient flakes of crystalline water ice whose sole purpose in life was to blanket all the world in (briefly) pristine dampness. Some weather patterns just want to watch the world slip on ice. We thought those days of errant snow plows and phallic snowmen were long behind us—but we were wrong. We were snow wrong.

The mystic guides at AccuWeather are reporting that, "a shocking blast of cold air and the potential for snow will highlight the weather for millions in the Eastern states this Halloween into the first weekend of November." The prognosticators at NBC NY concur: "Significant snowfall isn’t expected, but it should be the region’s first snow since last winter." Why have you snowsaken us, oh mighty and vengeful Frosty?

Whatever snowfall may come—and though it will be chilly outside, it may only be a light dusting for NYC, at most—will probably come Saturday, so you shouldn't worry about a white Halloween just yet. Then again, judging by last winter, perhaps we shouldn't believe anything these false weather idols promise.

Our own weather guru Joe Schumacher asked us to sit in the corner and quietly hyperventilate into a bag while he gave us a much needed, level-headed talking to:

The forecasts don't yet have a good handle on what path, close to the coast or further out to sea, this upcoming storm will take. The coastal path is more favorable for precipitation, but the cold air is now expected to hold off until later on Saturday, so we won't have Halloween snow in the city.

At best we might see a few flakes mixed in with the rain Saturday afternoon/evening, but that depends on the cold air arriving before the storm departs and the current forecasts don't think that is likely to happen. No accumulation in the city and the Weather Service thinks any accumulation will be restricted to elevations above 1000 ft, so the Catskills might see a dusting.

Those of you too young to remember the mental devastation wrought by last winter may find yourself silently nodding your head in approval at the notion of the first snowfall of the season. You may take this for granted, but let's not forget that the endless barrage of polar vortexes and cold fronts briefly drove Gothamist insane. Read the headlines below and watch as innocence gives way to experience gives way to completely madness.

It's NYC's First (Fleeting) Snow

Winter Is Coming: First "Measurable" Snow Of Season Tonight

Photos, Videos: The Snow Is Here!

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[Updates] Welcome To 2014, Here's A Blizzard

Photos: NYC Awakens Under A Glittering Shroud Of Snow

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Photos: Polar Vortex 2 Is Burying Us In A Beautiful Snowbound Tomb

The Snow Is Behind Us, Now Get Used To Freezing Your Nips Off

Today's Snow Ending Soon But There's More Where That Came From!

Finally, More Snow!

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Photos: NYers Battle Rapidly Expanding Slush Puddles

Winter 2014: The Director's Cut To Feature Extra Snow Scenes Thursday!

Here Are The Snowfall Projection Maps Of Your Dreams, Of Your Nightmares

Photos: The Snow Is Here! Again! Always. FOREVER.

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More Snow Expected To Hit City Today, Possibly Every Day For Eternity

Another Cherished Snow Storm Tonight, But Warmer Weather Is On The Way

Bring It On, Winter: We Will Drink Your Melted Blood From A Snowman's Skull

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SNOW MORE: More Snow Is Coming, Always Snowing, Always More

Road To Snowhere: Snow Coming Just In Time For Monday Commute

Snow What: Yeah, That's Right Snowstorm You Run Home To Mama

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Forecast: Winter Will Blow Last Dying Breath In Your Face Thursday

Snow Possible Sunday Night And All Day Monday And Then That's IT. Seriously!

Of Course It Snowed

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Never Forget