Get ready to have nightmares forever! A Bronx man entering his bathroom in the middle of the night was shocked to find the toilet was already taken—by a three-foot long Corn Snake. He was so freaked out that the only thing he could muster to cops when they came was, "There's a giant snake on my toilet." How very 2007.

The Corn Snake, otherwise known as the Red Rat Snake, is a nonvenemous snake common to the American southeast. They live mainly on rodents, which they kill by constriction, and may be kept as pets. One cop said, "Look, anytime you walk into your bathroom and find a big snake staring you in the eye, it's going to spook you," and one Bronx woman said that snakes are the last thing they need. "We've got enough problems here with bugs and mice. Now there's snakes coming up through our toilets. That's just scary." And don't forget about the opossums, rats, coyotes, raccoons and gators!