During yesterday's monthly briefing on crime statistics, Police Commissioner Bill Bratton vowed that the NYPD would start waking up sleeping straphangers, ostensibly to prevent them from being victimized by criminals “Subways are not for sleeping,” he said, citing statistics that 50% of reported crimes on the subway "involve sleeping passengers." "I know people have gotten out of work and are tired, but we are going to start waking people up."

Per the MTA's rules of conduct, sleeping or dozing on a train is permissible provided it is not "hazardous to such person or to others or may interfere with the operation of the Authority's transit system or the comfort of its passengers." However, according to officials, it is now too hazardous to be overlooked: "If you are sleeping on the subway, you make yourself a very easy victim and much more susceptible to a crime,” he added. "Why would you put yourself at that risk?"

The change in policy—which technically is more of an extension in policy, as the NYPD have long maintained the right to wake up (and even arrest) sleeping passengers who have taken up more than one seat on the subway—has been met with lots of skepticism from tired commuters. "I sleep on the train all the time," Bryan Portillo, who rides home from Midtown to Crown Heights after his overnight shift as a doorman, told the Daily News. "Nothing bad ever happens to me."

Nevertheless, there have been at least 37 assaults in the subway this year to date, which includes six slashings (compared to three over the same period in 2015), and four stabbings, (compared to two over the same period last year). Just on Tuesday, a subway mugger with a red flat top hairdo robbed and assaulted a 37-year-old man was sleeping on a northbound 4 train. And there have been numerous other reports of people being sexually assaulted, groped and pickpocketed while sleeping on the train. And that doesn't even take into account the other weird things that can happen to you while semi-conscious, including wasting a perfectly good joint, or waking up to a rat nesting on your face.

Mayor de Blasio said he fully supported Bratton's shake-and-wake policing shift during a radio interview today: “What Commissioner Bratton was saying was a simple thing: We’re definitely seeing those kinds of thefts on the subways [and] that happens a lot of the time because people fall asleep and leave their stuff [unattended]. Be careful about that," he said on Hot97 radio.

De Blasio also used this interview as an opportunity to gripe about what he perceives as an optics gap between his administration's achievements and the media's accounting of him: "They try to portray an alternate reality that’s just not true,” the mayor said of his detractors. "But I do think the people are more discerning. I think people see past the blaring headlines. They understand that for whatever reason the media dwells on conflict instead of anything that suggests progress. In the end I think people look at their own lives. If they see change in their own lives, that’s what they register."

The other inadvertent effect of this crackdown: we may get fewer photos of people accidentally falling asleep on each other's shoulders to renew your faith in humanity or whatever.

It's unclear whether this wake-and-shake plan will affect those of us who channel drowsy marionettes and attempt to sleep-stand.