Just when you thought it was safe to bike and sit and fish (maybe not fish) off the new East River Esplanade, four wheeled rogues clothed in disgraceful New York puns and stubby shoes ruin the fun. DNAinfo reports that City councilmember Margaret Chin was SHOCKED to find the area rife with skateboarders. "It's really dangerous," Chin said in a hearing last week. "It's supposed to be a really tranquil place for people to sit and look at the water, but it was filled with young adults on skateboards. You need to create a place for them." Despite there being two skateparks nearby, we suppose the "tranquility" of sitting underneath the FDR is too much of a draw.

Of particular concern to the protectors of the $165 million project are the benches on which the skaters grind, which are ideal thanks to their metal edges. But what about those nicks? Asked if skateboarding causes the dings, a 17-year-old doing tricks in the park says, "It does, but that's what we do. That's how it is." Indeed, everyone knows you have to break some benches to make a Gnar Omelette. "We just built that beautiful park with taxpayer money. Now the hooligans are in there, destroying it," CB 1 member Joel Kopel says, presumably while he fed frisbees and footballs that land on his lawn into an incinerator.

A spokesperson for the builder of the park, Economic Development Corp., which also maintains the grounds, said, "We are assessing the situation and we ask the public to call 311 to report any problems so we can address them in a timely manner." Councilmember Chin and Manhattan parks commissioner Bill Castro agreed that more skateparks should be created, but to maximize use of the ones that exist, clearly they should convert all the skate parks into esplanades.