Speedo etiquette is paramount as far as we're concerned—we really don't want to be wearing them and run the risk of swimming through a flabby-armed spanking machine. And it seems that 61-year-old Roy Lester agrees: Lester, who has been a Jones Beach lifeguard for over 40 years, says he lost his job after he refused to wear a speedo. Perhaps that old adage is true: you're only as old as the looseness of your swimwear.

Lester was told he had to wear the speedo for the annual swim test, which he refused. He has now sued the state Office of Parks, Recreation and Historic Preservation, claiming age discrimination: "I wore a Speedo when I was in my 20s. But come on. There should be a law prohibiting anyone over the age of 50 from wearing a Speedo."

Lester, a bankruptcy lawyer who is representing himself in the case, believes management was trying to rid Jones Beach of its aging lifeguards—he estimates that more than 80 percent of Jones Beach lifeguards are older than 40. "They were just trying to get rid of the older guys. To me the whole key to being a good lifeguard is experience. An older guy sees a save before anyone else. You know the water," he wrote in the claim.

Speedo etiquette is a topic that has been widely debated: according to beach surveys by Consumer Traveler and Trip Advisor, more than one-third of people consider it an etiquette violation for men to wear speedos. And on eHow, they posit that Speedos are often "associated with blatant sexuality in adults," calling the clingy fabrics revealing and suggestive. They suggest that "their design favors youth or men with trim athletic builds. Men who are heavy, very thin or over forty years of age should avoid Speedos."

For Lester, this is as much about dignity as getting his job back: "At a certain point you have to stand up and say this isn't right. I sat in a lifeguard chair for 40 years and I loved it. To me, to back down would have made me a hypocrite." Once Lester has finished his Speedo crusade, perhaps he can turn his attentions to educating the public about another male issue: shrinkage.