Despite the 9% unemployment rate, unprecedented public disillusionment and the fact that the name of the event itself conjures a pestilence that killed at least 150 million people, Americans came together to spend $11.4 billion on Black Friday, a 6.6% increase and the largest amount ever. "Still, it's just one day," ShopperTrak's founder Bill Martin tells Bloomberg News. "It remains to be seen whether consumers will sustain this behavior through the holiday shopping season." Yes, keep your fingers crossed for more appalling acts committed in the name of unchecked consumerism.

Though shoppers of a Target in West Virginia may have gotten a Black Friday discount on patio furniture, their souls will forever remain on layaway in Hell. 61-year-old Walter Vance collapsed in a South Charleston Target at 12:15 a.m. on Friday and witnesses say shoppers continued to walk around the store, "some even stepping over the man's body." Vance was later helped by an ER nurse who happened to be shopping but Vance died of heart complications at a nearby hospital. The incident echoes the 2008 trampling death of a Wal-Mart employee.

"Where is the good Samaritan side of people? How could you not notice someone was in trouble?" one of Vance's co-workers asked WSAZ. Wait, "Good Samaritan?" I think Jenny got that one last year, keep moving.

Not fully convinced that Hobbes is right? In addition to the two known instances of shoppers being pepper sprayed, a man was shot outside a California Wal-Mart after he refused to give up his purchases to armed robbers. And a Myrtle Beach woman was shot in the foot outside a Wal-Mart after her purse was stole, but not before pulling a revolver out of her purse and firing three warning shots in the air. So keep spending, people! May we recommend this Black Friday Edition AK-47?