Shia LaBeouf was in Manhattan Criminal Court today to face charges of being a Cabaret-hole.

The reluctant star pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for his behavior at a performance of Cabaret on June 26th. He was apparently acting out by smoking and grabbing actors' butts.

After he was arrested, he allegedly told cops, "Do you know who I am?" and "F-k you. I’ll f-k you up!" When he started spitting on them, they put a face mask on him. LaBeouf also reportedly called one officer a "f-g" and added, "I have millions and millions of dollars and attorneys. I’m going to ruin your career." And that's not even as bizarre as his pre-Cabaret behavior.

The Daily News reports:

LaBeouf briefly appeared in Manhattan Criminal Court where he accepted a deal from prosecutors that will see his case dismissed and sealed after six months if he stays out of trouble and completes another three months of substance abuse treatment."...

... "You must come to court each time the case is on. There must be no new arrests," Judge Diana Boyar warned the troubled "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" leading man.

Boyar said that if LaBeouf doesn't comply "all bets are off."

"Yes, your honor," LaBeouf said, in pleading to disorderly conduct, a violation that is expected to be expunged from his permanent record.

It seems like LaBeouf is taking solace in running—the past few days, he's been spelling out letters with his Nike+ (so far it's "#ME").