We mostly think of the NY Post as a publication tailor-made for people who think slut shaming is a great business model and women should be grateful to be catcalled. From the outside, The House That Libel Built doesn't exactly seem like a haven for the sexually liberated—but thanks to a recent sex survey, we know way more than we ever wanted to know about the average sex lives of Post readers. And boy do they love sexting.

More than 1,100 New Yorkers willingly answered the Post's questions "about sexting, threesomes and every other aspect of their sex lives," because there is no better way to tell "how kinky you really are" than by filling out a conservative tabloid newspaper's sex survey. And yet, the results have haunted us all week: 47% said they sext "multiple times a day," while 67% responded that they sext more than once a week. Where do people find the time to sext multiple times a day? We barely text multiple times a day anymore.

But that's not all! Because these sext-obsessed readers don't really consider sexting to be...sexual? At the very least, they don't consider it cheating: 76% of women in relationships think that it's not cheating to sext people who aren't their partners; 69% of men agree with them. No word on how the significant others of those surveyed feel about those opinions. It's fascinating: almost every story the NY Post has ever written involving sexting has been negative. It's almost as if they secretly love... the thing they also loathe...

Other fun facts: Jimmy Fallon is by far (80%) the hottest late night host; OKCupid (65%) has way more hot people than Tinder (18%); a lot of people (58%) have happily watched their neighbors have sex; the best butt-watching location in NYC is Central Park; Equinox has hotties, Planet Fitness does not; morning sex (48%) is preferred; a majority of couples (53%) have given their partner's a hall pass; and Kim Kardashian & Gwyneth Paltrow are hot, but Bill de Blasio is not.

Oh right, and there's this little factoid: 57% of respondents claim they have had sex on the subway, on a bus or in a cab. Or in other words, 99% of 57% of respondents are lying liars with active imaginations and/or hallucinations.

Anyway, hopefully this information can help us snag a date with Andrea Peyser.