Yeshiva University, the Orthodox Jewish college in Manhattan with the transgendered professor, is in another uproar because the school's online newspaper, The Beacon, published a personal essay about an unmarried woman's hotel tryst. The article, titled "How Do I Even Begin To Explain This," was written by a student at Yeshiva's female-only wing, Stern College. It's about her conflicting feelings during and after a hotel room romp with another Orthodox Jew (who kindly removes his Yamurkle pre-coitus, to her relief). Here's a steamy expert of the essay that has sparked outrage in the Orthodox community:
Adjusting the clasp on my Hadaya necklace, I finally take in my whole reflection in the bathroom mirror. My transformation from Occasionally-Cute-Modern-Orthodox-Girl into Sexually-Appealing-Secular-Woman: complete. I had managed to startle myself so much that I rush to cover myself in my peacoat. My hand won’t stop twitching at my side while I sit impatiently on the bed. “How long does it take a person to walk?” I think aloud...
...My partner in crime improvises with the room key as a bottle opener and we gorge ourselves on Stella Artois and cable television. In between swigs, I glance over at him; my cheeks are flushed and my head feels lighter with every drop. Making him think I’m farther gone than I actually am helps me shut off my conscience when I kiss him hard on the mouth. That little pest of a conscience is screaming again when he starts taking off my dress, so I shut her up with a last gulp of beer.
As soon as my bra hits the floor, the voice is gone.
Whooooo, we're gonna need a cold shower when we get home tonight (and maybe a sexy Shabbos Goy to "turn on the faucet," if you know what we mean). The unidentified student's story has been quite the sensation at the college, whose stated mission is to recognize the values of both religious and secular knowledge. But the Wall Street Journal reports that this article is just a little too sexxxular for the university, and the Beacon has now lost funding it received from Stern (which was reportedly only $500). One rabbi at the school simply called it "literary pornography."
The co-editor of The Beacon has resigned, but founder Simi Lampert stands by the article, and tells the Journal, "Yes, there were people who were very upset about the article, but I don't think that was enough cause to really cut off our funding. Our university spends a lot of time being afraid what this will represent to the rest of the world as the modern orthodoxy flagship." And in a letter to readers, Lampert writes:
This article does talk about sex. Yes, sex. And the premarital kind, too. Yes, this is assur (a sin according to Jewish law). No, we don’t encourage or promote the act of premarital sex. However, it happens. It happens in our community, and we as a community prefer to pretend it doesn’t happen. This much can be ascertained by the amount of comments objecting to a public discussion of a Stern woman having sex. The only way we can address the issue in any way—to fix it, to make sure it doesn’t happen, to make sure if it does happen, protection is involved, etc—is to talk about it. That is why we posted the article—so people would talk about it. And talk they did.
Indeed, the article has generated 15,000 unique page views and 41,000 hits for the website, plus over 70 comments, most of them in support of the story. (Ilya Kontorovich probably wins with the comment: "I'm sorry, this is just not appropriate. 'Bra'? 'Pleasure'? 'TOUCHING'? If I wanted to watch porn, I'd go on the internet...") Of course, the Beacon did lose their 500 bucks from the school, but they can easily make that up with some hot American Apparel banner ads!