Billionaire sex offender, Central Park stroller and user of poorly worded bagel analogies Jeffrey Epstein was apparently a "good friend" to former president Clinton, according to one of Epstein's former teenage "masseuses." Speaking to the Daily Mail, Virginia Roberts, who traveled with Clinton and Epstein in the Caribbean, notes that "Bill must have known about Jeffrey's girls," and that Epstein told her that Clinton "owes me some favors." Ms. Roberts stops short of accusing Clinton of partaking in more risqué behavior by noting that she was "never 'lent out'" to him.

Her comments that Epstein recruited her as a "sex slave" at age 15 have prompted the FBI to reopen its investigation against him just a few weeks after he was released from prison. Currently living in Australia and married with three children, Roberts, 26, said that "I'm afraid there are a lot of girls still doing what I did for him...I want to be the one to break the chain."

President Clinton was part of a coterie of celebrities who appeared on Epstein's private jet logs in 2003, including Naomi Campbell, Chris Tucker, and Larry Summers, and Epstein's lawyer has previously stated that there are no accusations that guests on his client's plane "had anything to do with the sexual abuse." Bottom line: we can't be shocked that world leaders engage in back scratching with billionaires, especially when their aircraft's nicknamed "Air Fuck One."