In an age of government largesse and rampant corruption, one New York lawmaker is standing up for what he believes in. That hero's name is Republican Senate Majority Leader John Flanagan, and he believes that Democrats deserve only six rolls of toilet paper a month.
Flanagan oversees the staff budgets and expenses for both Democrats and Republicans in Albany, and members of the legislature must go through him when they order supplies for their local offices. That makes him the de-facto czar for things like pens, tissues, and, yes, toilet paper.
"It''s ridiculous," an unnamed member of the Senate Democratic leadership told the Post. Scott Reif, a spokesman for the state Senate GOP told the tabloid lawmakers in both parties receive the same amount, but that hasn't stopped some Democrats and their staffers from complaining that Flanagan rules viciously atop a gilded throne of Charmin double-ply.
Field Director Michael Olmeda told the Post that he regularly brings bulk rolls of Scott's Extra Soft to Senator Martin Dilan's Williamsburg office. He's also totally not cool with the super-scratchy gas station-level TP that's purchased by Flanagan. "This is the crap they send us," Olmeda told the Post. "Try it out, it will probably cut you."
Meanwhile, Assembly members are allowed to order as much toilet papers as they please, so long as it fits in their annual $2,750 budget for office supplies. So anyone still holding out for 22 karat gold toilet paper will probably be shit out of luck.
