One Police Plaza, the heavily-fortified NYPD headquarters downtown where the Commissioner himself keeps an office, is apparently about as secure as your local Kwik-E-Mart. Yesterday an ex-con managed to steal a couple of laptops and a cell phone from the very floor where Ray Kelly works, then nonchalantly stroll out with the booty. In fact, according to the Daily News' version of events, the only reason they caught the guy is because after he exited headquarters, he mysteriously sat down in a concourse outside the building. To be fair, it's a gorgeous concourse.

The thief, Jermaine Sweet, gained access to the building because he was trying to retrieve something from the property clerk's office on the ground floor. When that ended in frustration, he asked to use the bathroom, then slipped into an elevator and rode up to the 14th floor, where he chatted up construction workers who were renovating an office. And when the opportunity presented itself, he allegedly boosted two laptops and a cell phone belonging to a Lieutenant, who soon noticed them missing. But by that point Sweet had already changed his shirt and was on the lam... to the concourse right outside.

The lieutenant called Headquarters Security Division (where they're probably not having such a good day today) and word went out that HQ had been burglarized. A cop noticed Sweet outside and arrested him; according to the Post it's the 18th time he's pinched! But now that we all know how easy it is to shoplift there, the security team should probably use his mug shot to start a "wall of shame" in the lobby.