The people who get angry when you don't take your shoes off fast enough in order to protect Liberty and Freedom have been stealing your iPads and other electronics, probably because playing a pawn in an expensive, pointless exercise in Kabuki theater can get tedious (and the pay's not great either). But should TSA employees be policing themselves with "sting" operations? Senator Chuck Schumer thinks so, and in a letter to the head of the TSA obtained by the Post, Schumer suggests that the agency plant GPS trackers into electronics and make "trusted agents…pose as absent-minded travelers who would fail to notice that their pricey toys had vanished after security checks." We must protect the iPads first, then maybe worry about all the loaded guns.

Clearly the senator isn't thinking of all the network news employees who would be out of jobs if someone else was conducting the amusing sort of stings that caught poor TSA screener Andy Ramirez on national television with a stolen iPad a few weeks ago. But Schumer's letter also contained a brilliant idea that would instill some empathy into those jerks who linger a little too long on your left thigh or insist on testing your contact solution for explosives:

He wants Pistole’s screeners—who regularly subject millions of Americans to often intrusive body scans or pat-downs—to undergo random, end-of-shift screenings to ensure that they’re not walking off with passengers’ property.

Maybe they also have 45 seconds to put all of their belongings in a grey bin and then spend $14 on a cellophane-wrapped ham sandwich?