No longer satisfied that he destroyed any prospect of you getting your hands on The Drink Of The Summer, Senator Chuck Schumer is now reminding us that while catching World Cup fever is fine, we should also not actually catch a mosquito-borne fever at the World Cup and spread gross germs once we get back in NYC.
“We have to prevent the spread of this virus before it reaches the United States in large numbers,” amateur immunologist Schumer told CBS earlier this morning. Schumer was referred to the "chik-v," or Chikungunya virus, which causes fevers, arthritis-like pain, swelling, and rashes.
“This is not a fatal infection; it’s just a miserable infection,” the chair of Vanderbilt's Department of Preventive Medicine told the outlet. The only way you can avoid the virus is to not get bitten by mosquitos.
There have been three cases so far in New York, and 25 in Florida, though the CDC notes that it has not yet spread to Brazil. Wait, why isn't Schumer warning people about dengue fever? Or to be wary of those traveling to Florida, because that seems a lot more—GOAAAAAALLLLLL!!!! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Given his prophylactic stance against "chik-v," Schumer also encourages opening doors with your elbows and to maybe not take that sip of your friend's beer.