Yesterday, "flabbergasted" Rapture predictor Harold Camping returned to his radio show to explain Saturday's anti-climax. Camping, as you may have heard, had predicted that the world would come to an end on Saturday at 6 p.m. everywhere. But just because you were able to blissfully fall asleep on the couch waiting for SNL last weekend doesn't mean we've been spared. What went down Saturday, Camping explains, was an "invisible judgment day... We know from the Bible God brought judgment day to bear on the whole world. And it will continue right up to October 21, 2011, and at that time the whole world will be destroyed."

You know what else happens October 21st? Paramount Pictures releases Paranormal Activity 3. And if you think that's a coincidence, you probably also think it's just an accident that the Ohio Valley Filk Festival kicks off that day, too! Everything is connected, you smug heathens. So don't think you can avoid the inevitable just because God decided to spare humanity five months of “hell on earth," as Camping put it. Five short months of page view-baiting Rapture blog posts are all that stand between you and the Apocalypse. He works in mysterious ways!