It's 11:07pm on Thursday night, and still no Shock and Awe in Iraq. Sure, there have been some pinpoint insertions, some little jabs here and there, but the cathartic release we have all been promised is still nowhere to be seen. In fact, according to CNN, Shock and Awe is currently on hold. I think it's time to lay the cards on the table and tell everyone the truth: Rumsfeld is just one giant cock-tease... um, I mean war-tease. Seriously: just flip on NBC or CNN and you see all their anchors basically blue-balling themselves to death waiting for the main event. Today at lunch they started a ten-minute strike and Wolf Blitzer was clearly two minutes from orgasm. And then nothing. Sure- it may save lives if we can end this war by killing Saddam with a few smart bombs, but believe me: they'll need to pass out some ice or something to calm everyone down.